the big questions....part 1 of what I feel like is a million

So religion is called faith. It implies that there are things you just have to accept and believe despite their lack of physical presence. I get that. Well, I get that in theory anyway. I struggle so much with that though. Think of it this way...I grew up learning the 9 planets in the solar system, wrote reports, made dioramas, etc. Then, in my 30's, the big announcement is that Pluto isn't really a planet. My papers are lies, if I still had my diorama it would have to be set off balance by removing the last little planet, the cool planet, the one named after a Disney character. How sad. Now, I saw pictures, but I never actually went to Pluto, I was just supposed to believe in Pluto.

Back to God. I am supposed to believe in God. The evidence is based in magical powers (everyone knows that magic is just illusions). And the kicker for me is that when good things happen it seems that prayers have been answered, but when bad things happen it was all part of God's plan. How convenient! Reminds me of my 4 year old. When he drinks his juice up he says I did good, I finished it up all by myself. However, when he decides to dump it over (on purpose) it was an accident. We make excuses for bad and sing praises for good.

This week marked 10 years that my brother in law's 9 year old daughter died because of a brain tumor. Was that really necessary? I never had the pleasure of meeting her, but I know she touched many lives...was someone so special really done here on Earth? Did the family not pray enough? Why is she gone? In the news today, a death row inmate dies at the age of 94...been in jail for most of the past 80 years for several murders. Why was he here so much longer than Tara?

I understand the concept of faith, but all faith requires something to stand on, some basis. I am having a hard time trying to find the perch to leap from....